If you haven’t heard already, the infamous Tim Tebow is joining the New England Patriots. The result will, unfortunately, be wall to wall Tebow nausea being force fed to all of us by every major media outlet for the next few weeks.
I understand that by writing this, I am contributing to the stupidity. For that, I am sorry. I can guarantee that this will be the only Tebow related article I’ll write for the next few months.
The media coverage of this signing is going to be disgusting over the next week. It’s going to be painful, and we’re all going to have to live through it. But hey, let keep things positive. There are some silver linings here, and I would be remiss not to point them out.
1) People can finally stop making the completely asinine suggestion that the Seahawks should sign him.
2) The Seahawks don’t play the Patriots this year, so we don’t have to hear about him non-stop for a full week this year.
3) Anyone dumb enough to suggest that the Patriots bench Tom Brady for that bozo is just letting us know that we can, and should, ignore them. It is also an invitation to block them on twitter.
4) Bill Belichick limits media access more than any other coach in the NFL. Hopefully ESPN and the other media outlets will find it impossible to inundate us with new ways to cover this “story” and give up. Hopefully. (I’m not counting on it though)
5) I can think of worse things than to have the Tebow circus drag down the Patriots. I don’t hate them as much a couple other teams, but it’s not like I’ll be sad if they get torn apart by internal strife like Timmy has done to his past teams.
6) And finally: People can finally stop making the completely asinine suggestion that the Seahawks should sign him. I already wrote that? too bad. It’s true. They idea was pure stupidity from the beginning, and now we don’t have to deal with it any more.
The rumor mill can be a curious thing. Sometimes it generates some good ideas, but mostly it’s nothing more than unsubstantiated noise that originates from fans and not teams or media members. It’s pretty easy to ignore most of these rumors.
Enter Tim Tebow.
The 12th Man Rising facebook page is different from our actual website. Diane (my social media director) manages it and does an excellent job. There’s more memes, pics, and links to things outside of 12thMR than there is here. (You should check it out. Seriously.) This morning, she posted a link to an article about a rumor about Tebow and the Seahawks. The page kind of exploded.
Let me start off by saying this rumor has no legs. Whether you’re pro-Tebow or anti-Tebow, you can ignore the idea.
I had to bold that. Some people skim these articles, and if there’s 1 paragraph you’re going to read, it needs to be that one.
While the headline says the Seahawks have “interest,” there’s nothing in the text of the article other than connecting dots that doesn’t exist. There’s no quote, no source, and no substance. I’ve also been told the site is far from reputable, but I have no prior knowledge of the site, so I am unaware if that is true.
Besides, the Seahawks have signed Josh Portis and are reportedly close with Tyler Thigpen. They’ve also reportedly been in contact with Vince Young, but it doesn’t look like that is going anywhere at this time. There’s also the draft, where the Seahawks have interest in Matt Scott, among others. The backup QB void is already working itself out.
I also surveyed a couple well connected media members just to be sure, and the idea was met with laughter. So there’s that.
So now that we’ve got that out of the way, lets have a little fun with this. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the 600+ comments. All are presented without commentary. Some are funny. Some are awesome. Some are awesomely funny. You decided which is which.
“We have our QB and he wears #3″
“We need a Christian on the team”
“Is there a UN-like button?”
“Come on Pete, we know you like ‘unique skill sets,’ but SUCKING is not a skill this team needs”
“I’m all for this… But to try Tebow at Tight End ONLY. I think he would be a good TE.”
“I’ll be right back. Going out to the driveway to set my 3 sets of season tickets on fire.”
“Sorry Timmy, but Lassie is not in Seattle, so you will just have to keep looking somewhere else. We wish you the best”
“Are you sure this isn’t The Onion?”
“Tebow is not the circus, the Jets are. Butt fumble, right?”
“I have 100% confidence in coach Carroll and Pete Schneider’s decision making in player acquisition.”
“Do we now have to open two spots on the roster – one for Tebow and one for Jesus?”
“If they sign this talentless … and the endlessly distracting circus sideshow of idiots who follow him around I’m turning in my 12th man credentials because any team who is stupid enough to sign him doesn’t deserve me as a fan.”
“[He's] Dan McGwire with a God complex. You’d do just as well to teach Okung how to play QB.”
And those were all just from the first 100 or so comments. Plus there’s the 50+ comments that looked something like “NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” that I had to tell Facebook that they weren’t spam.
How many times do we have to go through this? How long will it take before players stop questioning us, and just start believing?
I mean, this happens like 3 or 4 times a year, doesn’t it? Someone who’s never been to Seattle for a game openly questions how loud we are. How can 67,000 NFL fans be louder that 100,000 college fans? Or how can an outdoor stadium be louder than a dome?
The problem here is that they never learn. Every time this happens, the player who questioned us walks away from the game with a ringing in their ears that takes weeks to go away. Or they make the even dumber move of going on ESPN or some some other outlet and accuse us of piping in fake noise. Um, sorry, but No. We don’t. Nice try. Thanks for playing.
Well guess what, it happened again. This time it’s Jets QB Tim Tebow who is apparently incapable of learning from the mistakes of others. When asked about the 12th man and crowd noise, Tebow claimed that the SEC stadium he played in for college games “are a lot louder.”
There are 2 things that make that statement absurd. First, Tebow has never once set foot in Seattle, so how could he possibly know. And 2) There have been plenty of former SEC players who’ve played at the Clink, both with the Seahawks and against them, who’ve said that the 12th Man are the loudest fans they’ve ever heard.
So I guess we need to give this kid an education.
Be loud 12th Man. Do your thing.
Lucky for all of us, the offseason is finally almost over. I found myself looking over the league’s transaction log a couple days ago, and I kept being reminded of some of the really dumb looking moves that teams made this offseason. While some of these may turn out to be not as bad as they seem, they are all genuinely awful. So for your amusement, I give you my top 10 most questionable moves of the NFL offseason.
10) The stupidity that is the bounty scandal
While the bounty scandal probably doesn’t count as an offseason move for any one team, it does count because I said so, and because no list of stupid things that the NFL did this offseason should be without it. I don’t even need to get into any of the specifics here. If you’d heard anything at all about it up to this point, then you know enough to realize just how stupid the whole thing is.
9) Randy Moss to the 49ers
The 49ers needed receivers, so they went out and signed a player who’s last productive season was in 2009. Moss was once one of the greatest receivers in the history of the game, but those days are long past. The 49ers now need Moss to be something he no longer is, a dynamic playmaker. At least they didn’t break the bank to do it.
8) Saints dragging out the negotiations with Drew Brees
I expect this deal to get done, but this never shouldn’t have taken this long. You now have a franchise, and the face of that franchise at odd with each other and extremely unhappy. How is this good for the team exactly?
Granted, Brees will likely soon have 150+mil reasons to get over his unhappiness with the team, but think about the precedent that’s set here. It was likely pulling teeth to get the team to take care of it’s best player. I just can’t see how this was a good idea.
7) Denver’s huge contract for Peyton Manning
Don’t get me wrong, I wanted Manning in a Seattle uniform. I think he’ll be fully recovered from his neck injuries and ready to go for week 1. But there’s a difference between offering him a big contract to come lead your team, and offering him THAT contract.
The Broncos essentially wrote Manning a blank check, making him one of the highest paid players in the history of the sport. And this is for a player hasn’t played in a year, has legitimate durability issues now, and is old enough that his skills should have begun declining even if he was healthy.
6) Mario Williams getting a truck load of cash from the Bills
Williams is one of the league’s premier players at his position, but taking the extra cash to go from a legitimate Super Bowl contender to a perennial bottom feeder is always a questionable choice.
On top of that, I’ve always got the feeling that Williams was one of those players who’s motivation comes partly from his desire for a bigger paycheck. Now that he’s got that paycheck, there’s reasons to worry that he wont be nearly as productive for his new team.
5) No one signing RB Ryan Grant
I get that Grant isn’t a perfect RB. He does have an injury history, and he’s not a great blocker receiver which means he wont play much on third down, but he’s still one of the best runners in the NFL. He’s got the combination of power, speed, and elusiveness that give him the potential to carry an offense.
With his injury history and age, I can see why no team would be willing to break the bank to sign him, but the fact that he can’t even seem to get a modest 1 year contract is downright crazy.
4) The Dolphins giving away Brandon Marshall for next to nothing
Marshall is one of the best receivers in NFL. There is simply no way to argue that the sentence before this one is a fact. The Dolphins traded him for 2 third round draft picks, a paltry sum for such a good player. It wasn’t too many years ago when the Seahawks traded Joey Galloway, a lesser player compared to Marshall, away for 2 first round picks. When you consider it that way, you’ll see just how little the Dolphins received for Marshall.
3) The Giants releasing Jake Ballard
Jake Ballard had become a solid target for Eli Manning. The TE had improved to the point that he was one of the key contributors on the team’s run to the Championship. Then he suffered a major injury, and he was likely to start the season on PUP list, so the Giants tried to slip him through wavers to open up a roster spot. The Patriot snagged him, leaving the Giants with nothing. It’s like the Giants didn’t think anyone would notice, which is pretty stupid if you think about it.
2) Tampa giving the Seahawks Kellen Winslow for absolutely nothing.
As bad as the Brandon Marshall trade was, this one was even worse. The Seahawks gave up only a 7th round pick for one of the league’s premier receivers at the TE position. Regardless of what you think about Winslow’s attitude off the field, giving up such a talented player for nothing just doesn’t make any sense.
1) Jets trading for Tim Tebow
The entire idea of using a roster spot for a QB who can’t throw the ball is a mind boggling proposition. But to give up draft picks for the right to waste a roster spot on that type of player? really? not to mention the circus he brings with him, and to a team at already has more circus than they can handle, the entire thing just seems like one of the worst ideas in the history of football.
‘Hawks fans expect to see a very exciting game in Denver this week. Perhaps the most exciting aspect of the game will be the quarterback situation for either team. It has been stated that the Seahawks’ Tarvaris Jackson will continue to be the … [visit site to read more]
12. Coach Carroll put a stash of maple bars in the end zone and Golden Tate only gets them if he scores. Luckily, this same deal does not apply for Mike Williams.
11. Last team to have LenDale White on their roster loses. Seahawks fan toast the win with shots of Patron at the Hawknest. Do they have a drink game-day drink special for that yet?
10. John Schneider picked up 11 love-starved Tim Tebow fans to put on the roster. When the Broncos put in Tim Tebow, nothing will keep these girls from their man, and the result will be horrifying.
9. Elvis has left the building. Elvis Dumervil would have been a nightmare sack-machine doling out punishment on Matt Hasselbeck, but he’s out with a torn pectoral muscle. Advantage Seattle.
8. The Broncos face the injury bug much as the Seahawks did last year. With health care costs rising, the Broncos are teetering on financial collapse.
7. The ghost of Mike Shanahan still haunts the hallways, switching Josh McDaniel’s X’s to O’s and sneaking in more plays for Tim Tebow.
6. Last week, the Broncos struggled to bring down the diminutive Maurice Jones-Drew. Justin Forsett is even smaller, so that must mean he’s going to run wild. Please fix your fantasy team accordingly.
5. A former AFC West rival, the Seahawks are preparing to go old school. There’s talk of bringing back Steve Largent as CEO, but the big surprise will be when they sign Kenny Easley to play strong safety and show Earl Thomas how it’s done, the cheers of Seahawks fans in Seattle could drown out the crowd Denver.
4. The Broncos have only one Husky on their team – Stanley Daniels. The Seahawks have two Huskies and one Cougar. Any former Husky and Cougar must be so sick of losing they will do everything they can to enter the win column.
3. Seahawks fans will infiltrate the stadium camouflaged in Broncos fan gear. After Kyle Orton’s first interception they’ll start chanting, “Put in Brady Quinn.” Josh McDaniels has always been a sucker for peer pressure (drafting Tim Tebow?), and he’ll follow through by putting in Quinn. The Seahawks secondary will pick six. That doesn’t mean an INT for a touchdown, that means six interceptions.
2. Kevin Vickerson wasn’t good enough for the Hawks, but he’s good enough for the Broncos. Advantage Seattle.
1. With age comes wisdom. Pete Carroll, Matt Hasselbeck, Olindo Mare and Lawyer Milloy are all older than Broncos Head Coach Josh McDaniels. That covers coaching, offense, defense and special teams. Too bad Baby Belichick.
Tags: 12th Man, Brady Quinn, Denver Broncos, Earl Thomas, Elvis Dumervil, football, Golden Tate, Humor, Josh McDaniel, Justin Forsett, Kenny Easley, Kevin Vickerson, Kyle Orton, Lawyer Milloy, LenDale White, Matt Hasselbeck, Mike Williams, nfl, Olindo Mare, Pete Carroll, Seahawks, Seattle Seahawks, Steve Largent, Tim Tebow, Top 12