Los angeles Angels
You may have heard the news. The
California Angels Anaheim Angels Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have signed Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson to free agent contracts. The best hitter in the game and one of the better pitchers in the game. Both Angels. Both playing in the American League West. Both direct competitors to your Seattle Mariners. What. The. F**k.
There will always be bad days. Maybe your dog passes away. Maybe you lose your job. Maybe you wake up one morning and find that reruns of Saved By The Bell have been removed from syndication. Bad days happen. They don’t usually happen like this, though…
We were blindsided. We woke up this morning, checked our computers, checked our phones, and there it was: Pujols signs with Angels. What? What?! What happened to the Marlins? What happened to the Cardinals? What about the Cubs, the motherf**kin’ lovable loser Cubs?! How? The Angels? Howwwwwwwww????!!!!
Ten years. Two-hundred-fifty-million dollars. That’s a lot of money. That’s a lot of time. He’ll finish his career as an Angel! He’ll finish his career in the AL West!! We’ll see him twenty times a year!!! HOWWWWWWW????!!!!
But wait. He’s like, thirty-five years old, right? Right?! Wikipedia. Check Wikipedia…he’s only thirty-one?! Thirty-freakin’-one! That’s a Dominican thirty-one, though. He’s probably older. Yeah, I bet he’s older. Probably like…thirty-four, at least. Yeah. Okay. This is getting better. And he’s bald. And he might be on the juice. We don’t know. It’s all possible. It’s cool. We’ll be cool. Everyone just calm down. It’s cool now. It’s coo–wait, what? C.J…what?! Wilson? C.J. Wilson?! Hold on. Let me check this.
Twitter, do not fail me now, do not give me that whale with the birds…F**KING HELL! What the f**k is going on today? Is it a full moon? C.J. F**king Wilson, are you kidding me? Who are these bastards? Colombian drug lords? Where did they get this kind of money? This is ridiculous. First Pujols, now Wilson. I don’t…I don’t know what to think. I am speechless. This is shit. Just shit.
How are we supposed to compete, huh? We have an aging Bruce Lee as our leadoff man, a bunch of slap hitters around him, two really good pitchers, and everyone else sucks. Okay, maybe they don’t suck. But they’re not great. They’re average. We’re average. Our team is very much mediocre.
But their team…well, f**k their team. Their team is full of terrorists and communists. Half those guys probably don’t even vote. I bet most of them can’t even read. I hate those guys. What the hell is with those guys? Why do they have to be so mean like that? Damn it. Damn. It.
Well, I guess we have to sign Prince Fielder now. Wait, what am I saying? Prince Fielder? A week ago you didn’t even want to look at Prince Fielder. He’s morbidly obese. He’s so big he might implode at some point. That would be crazy. Awesome, but crazy. He’s rounding the bases and — BOOM! — caves in on himself. Hah. That would be funny. FOCUS! This is a bad thing, remember? Right. Bad thing. Bad day. Fielder? Really? I guess we can sign Fielder. Shit. We’re effing screwed. This is horrible.
It might be okay, though. I mean, look at all that money they’ve committed to two players. Three-hundred-twenty-five-million dollars. Good lord, that’s some cash. And contracts that long rarely work out. There’s hope. We have hope. Pujols gets injured semi-often. Wilson only has two good years under his belt. We could be okay. Don’t panic. Do not freak out.
Oh god, we have to do something. We can’t just sign an old guy and hope for the best. That’s what we always do. Jack Cust. Jose Vidro. Carl Everett. We always do that stupid shit. The pressure is on us now. Jack Z. Where are you, Jack Z.? You’re like our Dumbledore. We need your words now. Reassure us. He’s nowhere to be found. He’s probably hiding under his desk somewhere. We’re screwed.
Crap. This is like the worst thing that could have happened.
Calm down. Everybody stay calm. We’ll get through this. We do this every year. Whenever we sign a big free agent, it backfires. Whenever we don’t, it also backfires. Basically, we’re resigned to the fact that no matter what we do, it’ll backfire. And we can’t control what they do. We can only hope that it backfires for them, too. Wish bad things on the Angels. Oh god, I can’t believe I just said that. That sounds horrible. But they’re not really angels, so it’s okay. They’re the Angels. The Los Angeles Angels. Of Anaheim. What a stupid name. They deserve to have bad things happen to them just because their name is stupid.
I hope Pujols is actually forty. He probably is. And Wilson didn’t used to be that good. We should be fine.
I hope the Mariners sign Prince Fielder now. Damn it! I didn’t even used to want that. Stupid Prince Fielder. Why does he have to be obese? Why can’t he be…not…obese. That’d be so much easier. AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! We’re all gonna die.
Don’t be stupid, Mariners. Do something. Anything. Sign anyone. Stop teasing us. Crap. This is crap. Why does this shit always happen to us? Stupid. Sports are stupid. I’m gonna go cry now.
So yeah, that was my morning. How was yours?
We’ll get through this. One day. Many years from now. When we’ve had a chance to recover. Please do something, Mariners. We can’t take this much longer.
Filed under: Mariners
The Mariners lost a heartbreaker tonight 4-3 to the dreaded Los Angeles Angels in what may very well be the beginning of the end of our hopes to stay in the AL West race.Tonight’s loss coupled with the Texas Rangers win puts our boys 5 1/2 games back in the standings with two games left to play with the red-hot Angels. This was a must win game in a series that we need to split if we have any chances of making a run after the All-Star break.
The Mariners were haunted by the home run tonight allowing solo shots to Erik Aybar,Vernon Wells, Hank Conger and the killer a walk-off by Mark Trumbo in the ninth off David Pauley. Blake Beavan allowed a couple of these shots but otherwise pitched well tonight before handing the ball off to Jamie Wright who surrendered the bomb to Conger in the 7th.
As usual the Mariners had chances to put some distance between themselves and the Angels tonight but unlike the LA boys we just don’t seem to have anyone who can connect for a long ball when we need a game like this. It is too bad to once again waste good pitching efforts by our starters and bullpen but I am afraid the gig is up. This game was close till the end and you have to feel bad for Pauley who pitched out of a bases loaded 0ne-out jam in the 8th before serving up the game ending blast to Trumbo.
I am really beginning to dislike the Angels after years of them beating us in games like tonight’s soul-crusher. It will to tough to go back to the rebuilding mode after being teased till now with a pennat race though if the Mariners can somehow win the last two games we may be able to make the rest of July interesting. I’m going to try and hang in there for the rest of the season no matter what happens though I’m not sure my heart can take another dismal voyage into the abyss….Go M’s! http://jeffsmariners.com
by Scott Rinear
Much like the weather today in Seattle, the Seattle Mariners offense was unseasonably cold with only a few bright spots. Los Angeles Angels ace Jered Weaver made pitching in the Major Leagues look rather easy tonight, breezing through his complete game shutout giving up only 5 hits. I expect the typical reaction regarding the Mariners offensive struggles. But, after a performance like this one, you have to tip your cap to Weaver, as he was flat out filthy on the mound.
Mariners starter Doug Fister was lights out for 6 of the 7 innings he pitched. The first inning proved to be the difference in the game, as Fister gave up 4 runs on 4 hits with an uncharacteristic display of wildness and missed locations. It was an unfortunate time for a bad inning, especially facing a pitcher like Jered Weaver. Fister was able to find his rhythm, and quickly. Over his next 6 innings, Fister shut the Angels down, giving up only 3 more hits and no additional runs.
The lone bright spots were the 5 hits and some defense the Mariners were able to muster. Ichiro Suzuki checked in with a single and a double in the game and made two stellar running catches near the right field corner. If Ichiro’s slump warranted so many questions about his so-called deteriorating abilities, then I ask a similar question after tonight. Since his rare day off on June 10, Ichiro is 8-17 with four straight 2-hit games, and has flashed some of his vintage leather in right field. Do four games make a big enough sample size to welcome back the Ichiro who has spoiled fans with unbelievable offense and defense for 10 years? Anyone who reads my posts can guess my answer. Yes. I think Ichiro is back and will once again have at least 200 hits and hit over .300. I want to know what everyone else thinks.
Another positive tonight was the play of newcomer Mike Carp, both at the plate and in left field. I’m not sure if Carp has played left for this team yet, but I liked what I saw. Carp’s solid throw to home in the first may have cut down Erick Aybar trying to score had Figgins not cut the ball off. Then he made a sliding catch in foul territory to end the nightmarish first inning. Carp was also 2-3 at the plate, putting some good swings together against one of the better pitchers in the game.
With Carp, Carlos Peguero, and Greg Halman all having spent some time in left field, which one of the three has the best chance of being the everyday left fielder? For that question, your guess is as good as mine. Honestly, I like all three players, and I hope the organization can figure out the best way to take advantage of their young talent.
Speaking of young talent, Dustin Ackley will hopefully be making his Major League debut next week. It’s looking like Monday against the Washington Nationals could be the start of the Ackley era, according to Geoff Baker’s blog for the Seattle Times. There has been a lot of speculation in the media and blogosphere about why Ackley has not been called up yet. Whatever the reason, it’s only a matter of time, a matter of days most likely, and I can’t help be excited.
I remember when the Mariners picked Ackley 2nd overall in the 2009 draft, and a few days later I was able to catch a North Carolina baseball game on TV. I was excited to see Ackley play live so soon after he was drafted. I only watched a few innings, and only watched one of Ackley’s at bats. Home run to left center.
It’s obvious everyone in Mariners land wants Ackley on the team yesterday. What isn’t obvious is what people are expecting from this kid. I made the mistake last season of expecting Justin Smoak to hit 5 home runs in his first game as a Mariner and set myself up for disappointment. The questions become: What are people’s expectations of Ackley this season and beyond? Will the second base experiment pan out, or will the scouts who say he should move back to the outfield be correct? Personally, I have a really good feeling about this team’s future. Go M’s! http://jeffsmariners.com
Cliff Lee struck out 10 Los Angeles Angels tonight and pitched 8 strong innings as the Mariners won for the third straight game and now are 6 1/2 games out of first. Lee faced off against Scott Kazmir tonight, and outside of a shaky first where Lee committed an error there was no doubt who was in charge of this match between AL West rivals. Coming off two come from behind victories against the Tigers, the Mariners appear to be playing their best ball of the year recently. Tonight the Mariners were able to combine for 11 hits spread throughout the lineup, with everyone getting a hit except Mike Sweeney who has hit plenty in the current comeback for this club.
In the third inning Ichiro got on with a 2-out single followed by a walk to Figgins setting the table for Franklin Gutierrez who proceeded to drive in a run with a base-knock making it 2-1. Bradley came up with runners on 1st and 2nd and ripped a drive into left that Figgins and Gutierrez were running on, amazingly Guti scored all the way from first as Bradley was held to a single but got the runs in. Yesterday I mentioned the key to this resurgence was going to be Figgins and Jose Lopez and sure enough Lopez unloaded for a solo shot in the 4th to put the club up 4-2.
In the 5th inning the Mariners once again tore-up the bases on a line drive by Figgins to right that scored Ichiro all the way from first landing Figgins on third. Milton Bradley drove in Figgins with a sac-fly giving him a 3 RBI night down in Disneyland. The Angels managed to pick-up a run in the 5th off Lee but after that it was lights-out by the Lee as he dominated the Angels with pinpoint accuracy all night long.
The “Paper boy” Josh Wilson delivered again in the 9th with an RBI double to keep his hitting streak alive at 9 games. Having Josh Wilson producing at the bottom of the order has made a big difference lately as the Mariners try to claw their way back up to .500 by the All-Star Break. The AL West is wide-open this year and with a sweep in Anaheim the Mariners could find themselves back in business. Felix Hernandez will take the mound in the day game tomorrow, he is due for a dominant performance of his own. Lets keep our fingers crossed as this series is crucial if we are going get back in this thing. http://jeffsmariners.com